Top 10 Rules to Any Fantasy Draft

Oh yes, my friends, football season is finally here! And its arrival only means one thing to me; money expeditiously leaving my bank account. Yearly, I partake in countless fantasy leagues, knock-out pools and I even piss away hundreds gambling online. Most years, I shamefully wind up losing more that I care to admit, but this isn't about me being a degenerate gambler, this is about the upcoming fantasy football season. And for me, playing fantasy football is as American to me as shipping jobs overseas, Japanese cars and domestic violence. Sometimes having fantasy players in the game is the only way to stomach an epic battle between Cleveland and Tampa Bay.

Over the course of my fantasy career, I have won my fair share leagues and money, but I am not here to talk strategy or even suggest who you should pick with your first selection. I will let you rely on the egghead-analysts over at ESPN for that shit. Instead, I am here to ensure your league's fantasy draft and season goes off without a hitch.

If you haven't figured it out by now, a lot pisses me off, even if it's the slightest thing. Off the top of my head, three things quickly come to mind, parades of any kind, Bill Walton's face and other peoples' children. But as much as I fucking hate those things, and believe me I do, nothing makes my blood come to a boil quite as much as when things don't run smoothly. And that is why I, with the help of a few close friends, have composed this list of "musts" for every fantasy league draft.

Participants:

1) No bitching allowed. All decisions will be made in a democratic fashion and if someone doesn't like it, they can kindly and quietly go fuck themselves.

2) Women team owners are strictly prohibited. It doesn't matter if they can speak intelligently about football, are void of any facial hair or can take a punch. So long as they still bleed from their gash -- or they once had a gash -- they have no place in any bro's league. This also means that your childhood friend, Frank, who now goes by "Francine" is also shit out of luck.

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A Letter of Explanation to a One-Night Stand
Tired of having your good name inaccurately slandered by former one-night stands? Hate having awkward public run-ins with a broad you previously banged and hanged? You're not alone, friend. There comes a time in a man's life when he wishes he could have had the foresight to escape these unnecessary headaches by explaining himself and his intentions prior to tiptoeing out of a Jane's house before the sun came up. Thankfully, I believe I have come up with a viable solution to this problem. A few years ago, I figured out a way to end all confusion and female expectations by way of a very impersonal and unapologetic note. I don't take the time to personalize each note -- I am a busy man with many things to do -- but I have drafted this generic letter that, as you will see, is a classy way to end a one-night stand. Feel free to use it yourself.

Keep Reading....http://www.brobible.com/Story/24730