ad to share.Ali: "In your experience, have you found that girls have differently placed hoo-ha holes? And if so, is it very easy to detect the differences?"
Me: "I love that you come to me with these inquires...To be honest, I generally pay attention to other aspects of said hole; size, shape, odor, landscaping (or lack there of), precipitation (Sog-fest or desert) -- you know, things of that nature.
I never really thought to examine placement, although now I'm curious. Some girls are prone to make it more or less accessible though. Not meaning they are prude, but during the act they don't make an effort to move their fucking thighs out of the way if they are on bottom. But to answer your question, I can't recall a time where I said, "Gee, that don't belong there.""
Ali: "Ok wait - have you noticed an extreme difference in the size and shape of the holes??? I mean, size I can understand... but aren't they all shaped generally the same? Unless you're referring to outie holes, which are just abnormal and gross. But now I'm curious about size and shape.... please continue....
And not moving their thighs is just lazy."
Me: "By "shape" I'm referring to structure. I have never come across a rhombus shaped vagina (although that would be something to see). What I mean is that the tidiness of the hole can differ. You know what I'm talking about? Some look like precise, clean wounds -- while others look like they were a bit mangled or even masticated. I always assumed that was attributed to overuse though -- like tennis elbow or hemorrhoids.
So basically what I am trying to say is that when you refer to "outie holes," I am imagining a vagina that has mud flaps. Am I wrong?
By the way, your friend Adrianne = Lazy"
Ali: "A rhombus would be quite interesting. If you do ever stumble across one, please take a photo and text it to me.
Outie holes are ones that look like they're sticking their tongues out at you from the get go --no leg opening or anything. It's just all up in your face. I liken them to Popples (Google them if you don't remember them from our 80's childhood). I shudder to think what a mangled hoo hoo looks like.
I was recently told that a guy friend of mine noticed a difference of an INCH and a HALF between the most recent two girls he'd been with as far as hole placement is concerned. I've never heard such a thing.
Haha I've heard that about her before :)"
Me: "An inch and a half?!?! I find that to just be simply retarded. And I mean that with all due respect to retards far and wide I don't think all the holes can co-exist in such a close proximity without some sort of horrid terror being caused when having sex. Now it's possible that I'm wrong and I guess its also possible to have a more robust spread, but then think about if you moved your vag an inch and a half upward. I can't see that much variance being possible. Maybe a quarter to a half inch either way, but no more than that.
I am familiar to the outie type holes, I just figured they could be classified with mangled as well. How else would they have gotten that way? It's like catching your shirt on a door knob, only these girls caught something far more precious. When I think of one of these outie holes blowing a vart, I picture a whoopee cushion's lips quivering while its being deflated."
Ali: "hahaha I love the seriousness of this email conversation. I also thoroughly appreciate your prompt responses :)
And I know -- it's a huge difference. I'm assuming one of these girls either has a super fucked up hole or my friend doesn't know how to measure distance properly when using his index finger and thumb. I feel like I'd have to figure out some downward hip thrust move if my hootie hoo was moved upwards by that distance. How else would we be able to bone properly??"
Me: "I'm being serious because it's not everyday a fascinating new subject gets thrown on my lap. This is the first I'm hearing of this epidemic -- if we could even call it that? I'm not sure how boning would be if your hole was misplaced. I imagine you would go about it the same way one would approach a crooked penis --cautiously and with a good amount of disgust."
Ali: "I'm not sure that we can call it an epidemic at this point since so far we only have one account of this occurring.
Have you experienced a demure looking tucked twat only to find it mangled on the inside?? I shudder to think of that happening...
And I don't know if I could handle a crooked penis. I mean, I know my way around a penis... but crooked? I think I'd get too distracted."
Me: "What you're describing sounds like a revolting case of twat rot. Pedestrian on the outside, diabolical on the inside. Any broad with that problem should have their crotch blasted with a fire hose full of Masongil.
And don't try to sandbag me, you and I both know that you'd fix that cock's posture in one night."
That is all for now....hope your Friday sodomizes you
-Waffles
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